Since internet is popular, many people went online dating website to make more friends. As they are familiar with each other, they would invite the other to have a date. Someone think that it’s good for those people who are too shy or have some obstacle to speak with others or those who do not satisfy with their own appearance. But that sometimes will be risky for going out with him/her alone. What will happen if all he/she really wants was your possession? More seriously, if the person you went out with wants to rape you, what can you do? It’s hard for us to judge whether it’s right to have a date with people unknown. Because of these facts, it is self-evident that meeting people through online dating sites should be applied carefully or even stop using it.
As they are familiar with each other, they would invite the other to have a date. 這句用法很怪
回覆刪除Someone think that it’s good for those people
think加s
What will happen if all he/she really wants was your possession?
那個all是幹麻用的??
還有時態很亂
those people who are too shy or have some obstacle"s"
回覆刪除What will happen if all he/she really wants was your possession?
all換成what比較好吧 possession要加s
if the person you went out with wants to rape you這裡的wants是指..?
if the person you went out with wants to rape you, what can you do?
回覆刪除诶诶為什麼這句有過去式的went和現在是的wants?@@
時態不一致喔
回覆刪除went online dating website的website加s比較好
As they are familiar with each other, they would invite the other to have a date. 感覺不太對，把are改成become會不會比較好?
What will happen if "all" he/she really wants "was" your possession
回覆刪除應該是what和is
我覺得這是一篇論說文
所以...
以"第一人稱"來寫比較好
if the person you went out with wants to rape you, what can you do?
回覆刪除裡的went 和wants是要要用過去呢?還是現在?
It’s hard for us to judge whether it’s right to have a date with people unknown.
我覺得這句似乎有點奇怪
自打嘴巴....嗎?
以上~
幫妳+1
XDD
1....too shy or have some obstacle to speak with others or those who do not satisfy with their own appearance.
回覆刪除→...too shy or have some obstacles to speak with others or those who are not satisfied with their own appearance.
2.時態統一，注意主詞單複數，人稱統一。
(以上，淺見…)
Since internet is popular, many people went...
回覆刪除＂internet＂字首大寫。
＂went＂改成現在式比較好。
As they are familiar with each other, they would invite the other to have a date.
＂the other＂不曉得這樣用對不對，
我比較想寫＂others＂。（參考用）
But that sometimes will be risky for going out with him/her alone.
不太懂＂but that＂在這句的意思，假設語氣還是……？
在下想改：
＂However, sometimes it will be risky to go...＂
More seriously, if the person you went out...
＂went＂要改時態嗎？因為後面的動詞都用現在式呢…
總覺得楔楔跟網友見面的話，
應該是對方有危險吧？
（…自掘墳墓…）
如有誤，請不吝嗇指教。