2011年5月18日 星期三

Contrasting-1

I would choose CAMPUS APTS. There are several reasons. First, unlike Fairfax Apartments offer an large 2 bedroom apt, CAMPUS APTS offer a bedroom apt.. That would be useless for me to have another room if I don't live with others. Second, CAMPUS APTS is unfurnished while Fairfax Apartment is furnished. It will be more easily for me to decorate the room and place furniture where I want to put. Third, Fairfax Apartment didn’t allow pets whereas CAMPUS APTS allow pets. Having a pet dog or cat will make my life happier. Last but not the least, the rent of CMPUS APTS is different from Fairfax Apartment, which is more affordable.
張貼者： 篔簹 於 晚上10:56

3 則留言:

  1. 芳珠2011年5月25日 晚上10:41

    First, unlike Fairfax Apartments offer an large 2 bedroom apt, CAMPUS APTS offer a bedroom apt..
    offer應該要加s
    Third, Fairfax Apartment didn’t allow pets whereas CAMPUS APTS allow pets.
    這邊應該用don't吧!

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  2. 宜珍2011年5月25日 晚上10:55

    前面應該多鋪陳一點
    會比較好

    Third, Fairfax Apartment didn’t allow pets whereas CAMPUS APTS allow pets.
    第二個pets刪掉比較不饒舌

    以上

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  3. 品婷2011年5月28日 上午8:44

    主題句應該可以多描述一下背景
    unlike Fairfax Apartments offer an large 2 bedroom 這裡unlike用法錯囉
    It will be more easily for me to decorate應該用easy就可以了
    Fairfax Apartment didn’t allow pets怎麼這句突然用過去式呢

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